Flickr: The Wrong Combination

"I love taking part in HPAD's charity awareness days; they give me an opportunity to marry my desire to help others and the newborn (possibly now toddler) love of photography that has helped me find an outlet again.

Today, however, I have struggled. Struggled because I don't know how I am supposed to sum up my feelings about the seven pregnancies I've carried and lost; how I'm supposed to come up with a strong and bold message that will honour my babies and maybe, just maybe, help someone else in some tiny way.

It's too big. There is no combination of lenses or filters or fancy processing that can help me today.

Losing your child is like losing a part of your future. It's also a loss of the person you are, and the person you dream of being. It doesn't mean you don't get to build another future or another dream but there's scar tissue that will stay with you for all time. I know I wouldn't have my beautiful daughter if I hadn't tried again and again and again but it's hard.

I want to walk around with a sandwich board sometimes. I want to write it on my forehead, on my arms, on badges to give out to people in the street just to try and show them the pain I'm in, the pain my family is in. I never thought it would happen to me. It happens to too many.

I will light a candle for Joe, Jamie, the five other babies I never got to name, and the old me, tonight. I may take a further shot of a candle, but I may simply be too busy remembering them.

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October 15th is the International Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day, a global expression of sympathy, remembrance and support for those too many families who are affected by the loss of a baby in pregnancy or beyond.

Across the world, at 7pm local time, candles will be lit for those babies who have died. At this time we will remember them all; either our own children or babies of others who have nonetheless touched our lives in such a brief time.

In the UK, Babyloss is a collaborative awareness effort involving charities and voluntary organisations which support those affected, and lobby for research and action to understand more about and, where possible, prevent pregnancy loss.

You don't have to have been affected by loss yourself to help; though sadly the numbers of families affected makes it unlikely that there in no-one in your circle that has not suffered in this way.

You can help in so many ways:

* If you know someone grieving for their child - drop them a line today. Give them a hug. Show them you remember their loss and that you are there to share their memories and sadness. Too many families feel locked in silence, afraid to start a conversation, afraid to upset others, and alone in their grief.

* Click on the site www.babyloss.com, and find out more about the organisations who support those in need. Could you volunteer? Could you raise money or awareness for these causes?

* Even quietly finding out more and being able to pay that understanding and support forward if you encounter a person in need in the future is invaluable. Sometimes the biggest change is in thought, not just in deed.

With this shot I am marking the day, and I welcome you to share in marking it. Thank you to everyone marking this day on Flickr, and my love to all of you who will be remembering tonight. "